Here's the thing: I know I'm going the right way. I knew I was before but only logically. Subjectively I could see it. To know it has an entirely different meaning. And I can concentrate now. When all the shit (and I use this word to accurately describe the recent events) went down, I couldn't watch tv shows, movies, or read books. I could barely stay indoors unless something was REALLY "gripping" me like Stephanie Meyers' rough draft, First Sight. Yes, I admit to being apart of the disgustingly obsessive crowd of followers of the Twilight series. It's Lindy's fault. She said, 'Read this with me at the same time!' And I thought, 'Sure, great bonding experience.' Psh, I was recruited and brainwashed.
Anyways, I've been suffocating. As of right now, typing these words, I can breathe. That's the update.
Did some garden work, checked out a college I might attend this summer, talked to Mom and had an all-around pleasant day. I watched the rest of I've Loved You For So Long which was just amazing. A really interesting story. Original, and I like original. AND foreign and I like foreign.
So now I'm sitting with my healed laptop at my aunt's table. The windows are always open. The breeze is perfect. I'm too warm but that's the Crown flushing my cheeks. I'm such a lightweight.
I feel happy.
A week or two ago, if I had gotten loose of mind, I would have fallen apart. In rage or sorrow. Screamed or sobbed. But now...now I'm euphoric. I think that's a good sign. I always say that, when you're drunk or high, your truth comes out. At least mine does. The neural pathways clear and the intersections allow traffic to run smoothly. When traffic flows, everyone's happy, am I not right? It's when there's a jam, a broken down car or hazardous wreck that slows everyone down, that we get road rage. My truth right now is clear and my Personal Treasure (referencing the Alchemist that I'm reading thanks to my soul-sister-but-technically-my-cousin Megan) is within my grasp.
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