I bought wine, chicken, Triscuits and the kind of cheese she likes, and expensive chocolate for our anniversary this month. I poured my heart out onto a card. I thought, We've been so busy lately. This will remind her that I want to give her the best, I want her feel like a princess, I want to give her my all, even my last name.
She said, This looks like a Christmas card.
I know the truth, now, or at least most of it, and I review the last few weeks in bitter resentment. The card was put next to a pile of papers where it collected dust for a few days. She hasn't touched the white wine and I've thrown myself into the bottle of red. The whole time, I knew it. Other people knew it.
I've said some hurtful things to her and I have to stop doing that. It doesn't make anything better and it only makes me just as bad as her. She made this decision...actually multiple decisions...and now she'll have to live with it for the rest of her life. I remember the feeling and it'll never go away. Once you betray someone, you're a changed person. I'm not talking about high school drama where you told someone's secret to someone else and it hurt their feelings. I mean:
B E T R A Y A L.
As a mature adult, when you make the selfish decision to seek your own pleasures at the cost of someone's heart, you deserve everything you get in consequence.
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